New Years Resolutions, 2k18

Happy New Year, Everyone!!! We are already on day three of 2018. It’s already been a blur.

When I think of New Years I think of resolutions. Obviously, the every day stress will follow me from 2017 and 2018. But resolutions are a great way to reflect on the downsides of the previous year and the high times of the previous year. I can’t control everything but I can control who I am and how I react to the uncontrollably. Each year I like to reflect and revaluate what I want to accomplish, regardless of what it is.

Basically, resolutions are great. They give us a sense of a fresh start and fresh starting points. Every goal has a starting point and various ending points. They can not always be defined in a year. Reflection helps give those resolutions a bigger purpose. Progress is what matters.

I have my obvious resolutions such as eat healthier, work out more, get more sleep (never gonna happen). But I have a lot more passionate ones that I put a lot more thought into.

Here they are.

Be a better mother. This is one that I don’t think will ever leave the list. I am confident when I say that I’m a great mom but I’m not sure I’ll ever be good enough for my kids. Each year I hope to give them just a little more patience and a lot more love than I did the year before. My goal is to raise compassionate, intelligent adults. I want them to be the good in the world but I also want them to know reality and discipline. It’s a lot of pressure from one year to the next.

Change the world. This is another one that I think will be on her for awhile. I, obviously, want to continue to be kind and compassionate. I want to always find a way to be a positive moment in every ones day. Each year I want to find a way to contribute a little more to making this world a better place. I am not naïve enough to think I can single handily change the whole planet but I do believe I can make a small difference in someone’s life which in turn could change their own outlook of the world.

Be a better person in general. I know that my body is a lot smaller than the size of my heart. All of my intentions are good and my selflessness is endless but I do struggle with becoming detached from people and basically going MIA. I have an undying need for space and to keep to myself. It sounds harmless, but I have some very important people who deserve to hear from me on almost an every day basis. I try each year to improve this and give the people I love what they deserve.

Be a good wife. I was just married in August 2017 so this is a fresh one to my list. I am taking being a wife very seriously, I’m very old school romantic so I except myself to tend to my husband a lot. Ironically, my husband expects nothing from me but always appreciates everything I do. That is just an added bonus and motivates me more to be everything for my husband.

Be true to myself. I have struggled with this one for a very long time but I do feel that I’m getting better. It’s not that I ever tried to be someone that I wasn’t but I often will sacrifice my own happiness and energy to make someone else happy. The older that I get, the more I value how I spend my time and invest my energy in. Life is too short to be anything but unhappy. With that being said, it makes me VERY happy to make other people happy. I’ll always be a giver but I am finding that it’s okay to give back to myself sometimes.

Be a writer. I remember writing a book report in the fourth grade about, The Black Stallion by Walter Farley. I was excited to read the book and I was excited to write about it. I remember taking time to really craft my openings so I knew who ever read this would want to read more. I turned it into my teacher and she was blow away at my use of words and how I wrote. That started it for me. I fell head over heels in love with writing. All through school and college I had teachers compliment my writing in some way. I loved every English class and always looked forward to them. At a very young age I started keeping notebooks with poems and songs written in them. I had notebooks with pages full of my writing. Whichever notebook I was currently writing in, always came with me. I’d have a burst of inspiration and I’d start writing no matter where I was. I never fully believed in myself though. I didn’t see it as something I could be successful at. And then one day I thought, “why not?” My dream is to write children’s book and eventually a few fiction novels. I hope to one day publish a book that keeps being read long after I am gone. To know my words could leave an impression on so many people for so many years to come gives me all of the feels. That is my dream. Will that goal be reached in 2018? Probably not but by the end of the year, I will have made PROGRESS. Each year it becomes more important to me.

I’m always so disappoint when I see people talk negatively about resolutions. Sometimes it takes people a few times of trying before they gather their strength to truly commit. Be support and kind to people. As the saying goes, fall down seven and stand up eight.

To all of my readers, I hope you find inspiration from me in some way from reading my post. It’s New Year. If you want a new you, go for it! Maybe you won’t crush your goals this year but you will be a little closer to crushing it.

XOXO

 

Welcome to My Side of the Motherhood.

Parenting is hard.

Everything about it is hard. We are raising living, breathing, actual human beings who will spend years and years sucking the energy right out of us and demanding that we constantly feed them… And then… just like that.. they will be gone. No more waking up with your toddler’s butt cheek parallel to your face (why am I laying in a puddle? Oh it’s pee). No more explaining why butter can not be the main dish for dinner. No more requests to make up magical, action packed bedtime stories on the spot. If the thought of that does not make you snivel, then you might be Chuck Norris.

Every mother knows what I am talking about. We all have our days of clenching onto our child’s lifelong stuffed monkey while rocking back and forth in a corner sobbing in self pity at the thought of MY LITTLE BABIES NOT NEEDING ME ANYMORE.

We all have those days.

I have been known to write too long of a mushy, proud mommy status, on Facebook. No shame, by the way. I am a damn amazing (not perfect) mother. I cringe at the word perfect. I’m still learning and I’m blessed to have two kids to grow up with. I am a passionate mother and that makes me fierce beyond recognition, even when i feel like I’m failing as a mom.

The mind boggling part of motherhood is how the one thing that a mother is so strong for (her children), is the first ones that will bring her to her knees. We are mothers, hear us roar! And then your son tells you there is no where in the world he would rather be than with you. And back to the corner I go to rock and cry at the thought of him being a teen, wanting to spend his free time with his friends. I am mother, hear me cry? PARENTING IS SO HARD. As much as I’d love to keep them to myself forever, I’m selfless enough to know that they need to spread their wings. I am a crucial part of their lives but I know I can’t keep them to myself forever. It is a part of them growing up. Excuse me while I go back to my corner.

You’re not alone walking the streets of motherhood. Throughout my posts there will be cursing, questioning, laughing, thanking and all the feels. Read my blogs and we can cry over spilt milk together. For the record, who ever said that there is no point in crying over spilt milk has never spent 2 hours unclogging their milk ducts just to accidently knock over the 2 ounces they managed to get out. Oh my poor nipples.

Welcome to my ‘hood.