noun: bully; plural noun: bullies
1. a person who uses strength or power to harm or intimidate those who are weaker.
verb: bully; 3rd person present: bullies; past tense: bullied; past participle: bullied; gerund or present participle: bullying
1. use superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone), typically to force him or her to do what one wants.
Suicide the 3rd leading cause for death between 12-24 year olds, it is estimated that 4,400 of those suicides each year are because of bullying. FOUR THOUSAND AND FOUR HUNDRED 12-24 year olds a year kill themselves because they are bullied to a point of giving up. That is 8,800 parents forced to bury their child because people were so insanely cruel to them. That is 4,400 children that experienced so much pain because of other human beings that they felt better off dead. This is an issue. This should not be happening.
Bullying happens to all ages but teens are not as mentally mature as adults to handle the bullying and heartache and all of the stress it brings. They also are not mature enough to process some of their choices before they make them. This is what makes suicide one of the top three leading causes of death for them. And what makes it worse is that with social media, the bullying is just following them home. Cyber bullying is very real and can be more damaging than physical bullying. As parents, we need to be aware and educated. The scariest part is that some kinds it can be impossible to see any signs
My son came home from school one day and said this boy was really mean to him. I asked what happened and he said that he was sitting at the lunch table and the boy came up and told him to move because my son was in his seat. My son said he didn’t say anything and just scooted down so the boy could fit. My son said the boy sat down, got close to his and said, “you’re face is so ugly.” My son is my sensitive child. He’s very shy and gets anxiety easy. When he told me this (God forgive me) but I have never wanted to punch a child in the face before. I’m sorry, that is horrible but how dare he talk to my child like this. I work very hard to build my children up with confidence, I hate that someone might have the power to tare it down. My son and I talked about it and decided I should call the school about the boy and my son hasn’t been bothered since.
Communication with your children will be your strongest weapon as parents against bullying. Start as early as possible. They need to have a safe place and that should be home. It is our job as parents to talk to them and find a way to get them to tell us how they are feeling. Talk to them about their day. My family and I do a best/worst part of our day at the dinner table. We take turns and say the best part of our day and the worst part of our day. I have found out a lot from my kids doing this! I also believe it builds trust and let’s my children know I care, because I listen. Listening for cues of something being wrong or a sudden change, could give you a hint into something. I think starting this young and being consistent with it, will follow them to the teen years.
Watch for signs. As great of a relationship that I have with my son, I fear that one day he might not come to me. Not because he doesn’t trust me or feel like I could help him but because he does not like to address things that give him anxiety. For example, he hates to talk about the dentist or doctor because he is terrified of him. He would rather ignore it and pretend they don’t exist. With that being said, I know I will probably have to watch a little closer as he gets older because he may not be opening up to anyone about things that really give him stress. Some signs to watch for would be change in appetite, mood swings, loss of interests of things they love, withdrawn. Don’t get me wrong, you could have your child under a microscope and still miss signs, it might happen. That is no ones fault. What really matters is the steps you’re making to try and catch these things.
This topic makes me so emotional because I find it so easy to be kind, why is it so hard for some? We cant seem to end bullying and the answer is so simple, be kind. We don’t need funding or chemistry to find a cure, kindness is free. Think before you say something degrading to someone, think before you comment on a post bashing someone, thin about the person’s feelings before you make a joke about them. It feels good to be the good in the world, I promise. Take a moment to reflect on yourself and the example you’re setting for your kids. Would you want someone to say to your kids what you have said to others? Are you a bully?
Are you a husband that calls his wife names when you get into an argument? Are you in management and use your power to intimidate your employees to be better? Do you leave comments on social media that are degrading and mean to other people? Do you share images on Facebook that are intended to be humorous at someone else’s expense? Those are bullies. So many people would claim to be against bullying but are indeed bullies themselves. We tend to justify our actions because we feel that specific person deserved it or “did it to themselves.” STOP. This is bullying. Stop being a bully. There is no justification to tare another human being down, no matter how much you think they deserve it. There is a complete difference in standing up for your beliefs and being mean. People should be allowed to disagree or have different opinions and not be bullied because of it.
BE THE GOOD IN THE WORLD. Stop letting your pride and ego turn you into a bully. I wish I could scream this so you all could hear me, BE KIND. Always be kind. BE KIND. Even when the world doesn’t deserve it, still be kind. Do it for yourself and especially do it if you have small children watching you. It’s the only way we can create a more compassionate future.
How do you teach your kids to handle bullying? Have you ever been bullied? Leave a comment, I would love to hear it. #thecureforbullyingistobekind